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| So what's happened recently, where to start.
Thanksgiving break has come and gone, and mine was great. I
basically spent all of the break with Aislynn (Izzy), and it was
glorius. We saw Just Friends Thanksgiving night (after pissing
off my parents by leaving dinner early). We almost went to the
beach the night before at like 2:00 in the morning (I went home, she
went with some other people). I had a jolly good time (the hell)
all week... and then things got weird. I said some stuff that I
didn't necessarily mean, so right now, we're toning it down. Back
to school, and work (for me, she got fired, from my workplace
too). Things are slowing down quite a bit.
After she got fired from Sears, and we had some issues between us, I
realized I didn't like where I was going. I wanted to quit my job
for a bit, and just settle down with school and friends, but the
parentals would have nothing of it. So, I figured I'll switch
schools... again. So, hopefully, next semester, I won't be
attending CSUMB. I should be going to Hartnell, which is the
community college in Salinas. I like it because I don't have to
drive 30 minutes to and from school everyday, I can save money on gas,
and I can see my friends more. Aislynn, Steve, Chelsey, Sean,
Robert all go to Hartnell, so I'm looking forward to it, though now I
feel like a failure. I was supposed to be some crazy smart kid
coming out of high school going to UC Davis, but that didn't
happen. Then it was CSUMB for a year or two, and that happened,
for a semester. And now I'm going to a community college.
But, yeah, after a few days of having an extremely chaotic mind, I
think things've calmed down. Aislynn and myself have worked out
the issues between us, and we're good again. I realized that I
have friends who really do care about me. I was at Steve's the
other day before class, and Chelsey called. Steve said I was at
his house and Chelsey asked him, "Is Ronnie okay?" And that made
me feel like someone actually cared, because at the time I was going
through lots of shit in my head, and trying to sort shit out.
But, everything is good now.
Thanksgiving break was good, but weird. Like I said before, I
basically spent the entire thing with Aislynn, well almost. I've
sorted things out, so I'm doing a lot better than I was a week
ago, thank God. Things are going good for me though, I made some
really good friends this past two weeks in Aislynn and Eddie.
Things are looking up and life is grand.
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| It's been a while, but I'm still an emo bitch.
I care.. I care way too much.
I haven't really TALKED to Angelica in the longest time, and it's
really depressing when I think of how it used to be before she stopped
talking to me.
Also, I notice I don't really have any mutual friends. I have friends that I consider good friends, but they don't back.
Those are the worst things in my life at the moment.
Other than that, shit's been good. College is boring as fuck, but
I made some friends. I've made a ton of new friends
recently. Izzy and Chelsey being the better ones... well, not
really Izzy, but we were supposed to go out tonight, but she had to
cancel. That's more than I've done in a while with one
person. I just met her last week.
I dunno, life's been good but I think about shit way too much.
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| I'm 18 now. Hooray? I suppose.
For my birthday, I had a party. First one since I turned 13. And...?
It was fun, I loved it.
Had Downward Spiral and The Axis (I guess that's their name) perform.
Downward Spiral:
Steve-O - Guitar and Vocals
Eddie - Bass
Brad - Drums
The Axis:
B - Lead Guitar and Vocals
Mark - Guitar
Eddie - Bass
Steve-O - Drums
Me - Percussion (Cowbell!)
Haha. 'The Axis' is recording a demo in the next few weeks.
Don't think I'll be there actually playing, but I'll go to support them
if I can. Gonna be awesome, I love their music.
So yeah, the party was awesome. I'm glad I had it. Tons of
people didn't show up, but enough did to make me happy. Josh,
Jose, Adan, Wyndon, Rachel, Donne, Nikki, John, some Asian guys I
didn't know showed up for a few minutes, Ms. K. But it was
cool. I met Donne and Nikki, talked to Donne a little bit the day
after.
She apologized for just kinda... showing up uninvited. We talked
a bit messaging each other... She showed me something. She
felt bad about showing up, so I told her if I had a going away party at
the end of the summer before I run off to college, I would invite her
so she wouldn't feel wierd.
And she said something like... "your gunna go and leave us all?"
And it finally hit me. I was leaving everyone, my friends,
family, everything. I didn't like it.
I don't know what the hell happened to Leo, Francisco had to cancel us
being roomates and I was going to a school where I didn't know anyone
at all. Plus there was gonna be a ton of money I had to pay off
at the end of my college stay, shit that I didn't want to have to
do. So I thought, why bother?
It was a sudden thought, but I figured I could go to a nearby, cheap
university for a year or two, and then transfer to a larger university
for the final years of college. That seemed more logical
here. Why pack up and move on when I'm going somewhere I don't
want to go. I couldn't justify leaving everyone and everything I
care for to go to learn.... So I said fuck it and told my mom I
was going to apply at a California State University of Monterey Bay
(CSUMB).
Naturally she was fine with it; she didn't want me to move out, like
most mothers are. I'll be able to live at home, find a job, pay
off my car, pay rent (I don't know), stay with my friends, and not have
to start all over.
A big factor in my decision, I think, as wierd as it is, is the Class
of 2006. I've got a few good friends in that class, and I really
want to see them graduate. I want to be able to visit them at my
old school when I want. I don't want to be away from them... for
whatever reason.
So yeah, in an instant I changed my plans for the future. I've
never felt as happy about college as I feel now, thank God.
Jessica was suprised as hell because it was so sudden and, quite
frankly, unexpected based on what I was telling her.
Mm, so yeah, I get my car back this weekend hopefully, and thank...
God. Being stuck in this house sucks ass so much. Just
gotta hold out until the end of the week / weekend. Sam came home
from my cousin's and became friends with my friends, so I might start
taking him out when I go to B's to watch them practice and
whatnot. Also got a few movies I've yet to see, Fantastic Four,
War of the Worlds, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, want to see
them all.
Yeah... things are going well for the most part. I just want my
car back and I'll be happy, oh, and a job would be nice also.
"I've known faces that have disappeared in time. Find me wrapped
in glass and slowly soaked in lime. All my friends have pictures
meant to make you cry. I've seen this and wondered, what I've
done to calcify. As I close my eyes, I feel it all slipping
away. We all got left behind, we let it all slip away."
~Left Behind
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| Been almost a month..
Lets see, much has happened. Been spending a TON of time at my
friend's, B's, house. Too much, according to my parents.
Just been relaxing and watching his band practice; playing the cowbell
occasionally. Shit like that for the few weeks I've been out.
Two weeks ago, I went to B's house at about 4:00, little later than
normal. They practiced 'til 9:00, where we went to Eddie's to
have a going-away party for Lisa, who is a foreign exchange student
from Japan spending her last day here. So we go to Eddie's, and I
have an amazing time hanging out with Eddie and Josh until 8:00 in the
morning, where I went to sleep. Parents called at 6:00, I didn't
answer. Parents call me again at 11:00, which wakes me
up. I call back and know they're pissed off because I didn't
bother telling them I was staying at someone's house.
They get pissed off; I get my computer, PS2, X-Box taken away for a
week. I just got it all back last night. And I get my car
taken away for a month. Lame.
But, it was totally worth it.
Oh, and the Thursday before I went to Eddie's... fuck. Another
awesome day. I finally got Angelica to talk to me again.
She freaked out because of exactly what I posted earlier. My
fucking emo ways, and my negativity was getting HER down, and she
didn't want to deal with it, and rightfully so. Thank God, we
talked it over a bit and haven't really talked mano y mano yet, but
hell, it's better than nothing.
Finally talking to her has put me in an awesome mood this past
week. So yeah... Maybe I'll update at another time where
I'm not as hyper.
"Your impossible, ego fuck, is like a megalomaniacal tab on my
truck. And if you touch me I will rip you apart. I'll reach
in, and take a bite out of that shit you call a heart." ~My Plague
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| I feel like I'm back to my old ways, falling in love with incredibly weird things.
First it was Godspell, than Star Wars. What the hell.
I guess you could say I had an epiphany of sorts. My friends B,
Steve-O, and Rebecca were all part of a musical called Gospell, which
was about the story of Jesus, only with singing and dancing. I
watched it on opening night, last Thursday, and I liked it a lot more
than I thought I would, so I decided to go back. I go back
Sunday, watch it again, and just absolutely fell in love with it.
I'm not a religious guy.. but I loved the play, absolutely loved
it. The singing was superb, acting was amazing, and the band was
even better. I downloaded some songs from one of the many
productions of this play and have been listening to them for a few
days, when I'm at my house anyway.
I'm so glad I saw it though. The past few days have been
incredible for me, even though they've been very very hectic because of
the Cultural Heritage Project, which I'm just about done with. I
messaged seven of the nine Godspell cast members two nights ago on
MySpace, and they were all thrilled to hear from a happy audience
member. Hell, I think I might try to get to know Antionette a
little better before school is out, all ten days. Might as well,
I've already opened up to her, even though I don't know her. I
open up to people way too easily.
I'm actually sad that I'll probably never get to see this play
again. I loved it that much, it's crazy. I had NOTHING to
do with the play, but I'm sad it's ending. That's been the one
bad thing about these past few days; that realization.
Yesterday I saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and I loved
that. I've never been a huge Star Wars fan, I
watched the movies and played some of the games and that was it.
I never fully understood the plot, but seeing this movie just brushed
the dust off the Star Wars Nerd dial in my head and turned it to
ON. I'm going to watch the rest of the episodes over again so I
can really comprehend the story a lot better.
I'm going to start taking my mom's camera to school, so I should have
some pictures up shortly, maybe, possibly. Anyways, I've been in
a pretty good mood while house-sitting for my sister, so I'm going to
find something to do while I wait for an e-mail.
"
Then the man they called Judas Iscariot went to the chief priests, and said, "What will you give me to betray Him to you?"
They paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment, he
began to look out for an opportunity to betray Him." ~By My Side
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